B n E
by Disgruntled Minion
Summary: AU Oneshot, SasuNaru: “Naruto, we’re going on an adventure tonight.” “What kind of adventure?” Naruto questioned. “Naruto, I wanna do a B n E.” Sasuke said softly into the phone.


Summary: "Naruto, we're going on an adventure tonight." "What kind of adventure?" Naruto questioned. "Naruto, I wanna do a B n E." Sasuke said softly into the phone.

Warnings: Cursing

Disclaimer: Naruto does not belong to me, nor does the phrase B n E. That belongs to Dane Cook as does the performance that somewhat follows the idea; I just added a few twists. And I do not promote the actions at which are committed in this chapter, so please don't try it.

A/N: Okay, for those of you who know what B n E means, great, you know where this idea came from. For those of you who don't, I'll tell you now that it stands for Breaking and Entering (curtsey of Dane Cook), and I would suggest looking for it on You Tube, since it kinda follows the same principle. Yes, I was bored during my team bonding thing (God, please don't send me through that again), and one of the girls had this playing on the TV and I started thinking how funny it would be to put Sasuke and Naruto in it. So I was laughing at the TV for all the wrong reasons. Beta-ed by Akiru chan

* * *

Sasuke stared at the ceiling.

It stared back.

He sighed and rolled over onto his stomach. His parents were at the opera tonight and his brother was out doing something with his weird group of friends, meaning he was all alone. It was a quiet Friday night and he nothing to do but sit in his room and stare at things. However, something was stirring in the pit of his stomach, it was slowly driving him insane, and he knew what it was.

It was temptation. Temptation to do something different for once in his perfect life. Something that would allow him to break free of the restraints that had been placed on him.

So what's a guy to do when temptation calls?

Call your best friend and drag them with you.

* * *

Oblivious of the scheming Uchiha a few roads down, Naruto settled down with a bowl of popcorn and turned the television on. It was Friday night and his parents were at some fancy dinner party for charity, leaving him alone to watch movies and eat hoards of sugar. He tossed the fluffy white treat in the air and lunged for it with little success. He pouted at the missed kernel and tried again, succeeding this time. With his challenge of catching popcorn completed, he leaned back against the cushions to enjoy the movie.

Halfway through the movie, the blond was leaning forward, anxiously watching the television screen as the lead female character neared a closed door. He gripped the black pillow tightly, his eyes wide, all the while yelling at her to leave the door alone; his cries were ignored as she opened the door and walked into the empty room. Naruto hugged the pillow closer to his chest and leaned forward a little more when the killer suddenly jumped onto screen.

The blond jumped, knocking the bowl onto the ground, and then let out a scream when the phone rang. He quickly fumbled with the remote and paused the movie while he turned the lights back on. He took a few breaths to make sure he sounded calm in case it was his parents calling and then picked up the phone. A quick glance at the caller ID showed that it was Sasuke calling and he pressed the talk button.

"Hey Sasuke"

The other end of the line was quiet for a moment and Naruto wondered if this was some joke the raven was trying to pull.

"Naruto." Sasuke answered, his voice dripping with rare excitement and the blond could practically see him bouncing up and down on the other end of the phone like an excited little child. Ha-ha, yeah right**.**

He sighed, "Yes Sasuke."

"Naruto, we're going on an adventure tonight."

The blond teen huffed, "I'm watching a movie right now Sasuke. Can't it wait?"

"No, and I'm not taking someone else." Sasuke answered and after a moment of silence, he heard Naruto sigh in defeat.

"What kind of adventure?"

"Naruto, I wanna do a B n E." Sasuke said softly into the phone.

The blond looked at the phone for a moment, "What?"

Sasuke smirked even though Naruto couldn't see it, "Come on Naruto, it'll be fun."

"How is getting bacon and eggs fun?" The blond questioned, although, he did like bacon and eggs and the thought made his stomach growl.

"I'm not talking about bacon and eggs Naruto; I'm talking about breaking and entering."

Naruto hesitated, trying to decide if Sasuke was being serious about this. After all, this was Uchiha Sasuke we were talking about; the guy who never has any fun, Mr. Head of the Class, heir to the Uchiha fortune. Did he forget anything? Oh yes, Uchiha Sasuke, his childhood crush. All those years growing up together but never saying anything for fear of ruining their friendship; so instead, he was reduced to sneaking glances at the dark haired Uchiha from afar.

"Naruto, you still there?"

"Yeah, but Sasuke why do you want to do this?"

"Temptation."

"WHAT?!" Naruto screamed into the phone, "Sasuke you can't just do this based on temptation. Besides, you know I have a history and I can't get in trouble for the rest of this year. You can get away with it, but I can't."

Yes, Naruto had a history of being a troublemaker, one that he was proud of, but his most recent prank had gotten him into a lot of trouble and he needed to stay out of trouble for a while. His parents had promised to send him to some military camp if he got in trouble again, and while he wasn't sure if they were just threatening him or not, he didn't want to take the chance.

"Are you scared?" Sasuke taunted, knowing all too well that Naruto wouldn't be able to back down after that.

"N-no."

"Good, because you're driving."

"Whoa, hold on. You want me to take my truck, my precious Kyuubi, on this random 'B n E', all because you're feeling temptation?"

"That seems about right."

Naruto scoffed, "No, hell no."

Sasuke frowned as he shuffled through some clothes, trying to find the right shade of blue and black to wear tonight. It seemed that his best friend wasn't being very corporative tonight; time to use his ace in the hole, "Naruto, if you don't pick me up in fifteen minutes our friendship is over." And he snapped his phone shut, tossing it onto the bed. He slipped on the black shorts with a navy blue shirt before heading down the steps.

The blond stared at his phone as the dial tone sounded over the speaker. "Wha? Sasuke you bastard, that's not fair!" he shouted.

* * *

Fifteen minutes later, Sasuke was waiting on his porch for Naruto to show up. He really didn't want to pull that on the blond, and as his watch passed the fifteen-minute mark, he was worried that Naruto wasn't going to come at all, and Sasuke didn't want to end their friendship. Dark eyes shifted up the equally dark sky, where clouds covered the full moon. He would have preferred a new moon tonight but he would take what was offered.

He let out a sigh of relief as headlights flashed in his eyes and he recognized the red and orange Chevy extended cab. He strolled leisurely down the driveway and slid inside the cab, instantly noticing that Naruto was tense and a little pale.

"Sasuke, are you sure that you want to do this?"

"Yes, now drive."

The blond let out a groan, but backed out of the driveway and onto the street. They drove through the large neighborhood at a casual speed, allowing Sasuke plenty of time to look for the house that he wanted. All the while, Naruto kept muttering under his breath about how idiotic this was and that they should just turn back now. Sasuke ignored him and focused instead on the houses before one finally caught his attention.

"That one."

"Sasuke, we're going to get in so much trouble." Naruto whined.

The raven looked over at him and smirked, "Good."

Naruto groaned and slammed his head on the steering wheel, muttering into the leather, "Why are we doing this again?"

"Temptation."

"Right…"

Once they were parked several blocks away from the intended target, Sasuke climbed out of the truck while Naruto sat still, drumming his fingers along the steering wheel. Sasuke walked around the truck and stood on the runners as he draped his arms through the open window. He looked down at Naruto with an odd glint in his eyes before telling him, "You're coming with me."

The blond shook his head, "No, you said that I was going to drive you, you never said that I was going in with you."

"Naruto, you're coming with me."

"Dude, I'm going to get in so much trouble if we get caught." He snapped, "Do you like seeing me get into trouble or something?"

Sasuke snorted, of course he didn't. He hated seeing the blond hurting in any way, but that was beside the point right now. "Naruto, I won't let you get in trouble." He opened the cab door as he jumped to the ground and held out his hand, "Come on."

Naruto hesitated but the offered hand looked inviting and the troublemaker inside him was just begging him to go. Finally, he reached out and grabbed the pale hand, shivering when their skin made contact, and for that moment, he forgot about what they had come to do and the world seemed to slow down, allowing him to focus on the feeling.

The raven smirked as he watched the emotions flicker in the azure eyes, and he knew that tonight would work out. He closed his own pale hand around the tan one before leading him towards the green belt that separated the houses. They crawled over the short fence that was supposed to keep out pets and jumped over the creek that was dry due to the lack of rain. Finally, they came to the long line of fences that separated them from the house that Sasuke had claimed.

"Sasuke." Naruto started.

Sasuke turned around and looked at Naruto who was bathed in moonlight, causing him to temporarily forget what he was going to do. But that strange urge drew him back to his quest and he shook his head, "We're going over them Naruto."

Naruto's shoulders slumped and he followed after the raven quietly as they jumped the first of many fences. They moved through the backyards quietly, carefully avoiding the ones with dogs sleeping outside and rowdy teenagers partying into the late night. Six fences separated them from their goal when Sasuke heard an urgent voice hiss at him.

He didn't bother to turn around, already guessing that Naruto was going to tell him again, not to go through with this plan. "Not now Naruto."

"Sasuke." Came the forced whisper and the raven finally turned around with a, 'this better be good' look on his face, "I'm stuck."

Sasuke looked at Naruto who was standing on his tiptoes, trying to keep his shirt on, which was caught on top of the chain link fence. He squirmed against the cool metal that was pressed up against his back and waited for Sasuke to come over and get him down. The shirt was ridding up on his torso, showing off his tan stomach, taunt abdominal muscles and the tattoo that swirled around his navel.

If his mind hadn't been so focused on his mission, Sasuke might have laughed at the predicament Naruto was in before proceeding to ravish the blond. Instead, he strode forward and yanked at the material, making Naruto yell at him.

"Stop it, you're going to rip this shirt and it's my favorite one."

"Don't be such a girl and next time; don't wear your favorite shirt." He stated after finally releasing the material from the fence.

Naruto stuck his tongue out at him before he readjusted his shirt and continued after Sasuke.

The last few fences were easy to climb over and within a few moments, they were standing in front of a large, two story house. The lights were off and the driveway was void of cars**. **As they made their way up the driveway, Naruto glanced at the raven and bit his lip anxiously. He really didn't want to do this, but Sasuke seemed set on satisfying his temptation and wasn't listening to anything he was saying. He was lost in his thoughts and didn't realize Sasuke had stopped until he bumped into him and toppled onto the grass.

"Sasuke." He hissed, "Warn me next time your just going to randomly stop."

The raven huffed, "Maybe you should be focusing more then." He held out a hand to Naruto, "Come on."

Naruto crossed his arms and turned his head to the side, pouting slightly, "No."

With a sigh, Sasuke reached down and grasped Naruto's arm, then hauled him to his feet. "Stop being stubborn."

The younger male jerked his arm from the tight grip, "You're the one who's being stubborn here." He snapped, "I told you, we're going to get in so much trouble, my parents are going to kill me if they find out what I'm doing, and then they're going to ship me off to some military camp."

Sasuke chuckled, "If they kill you, they can't send you to a military camp."

"Will you take me seriously for once? I don't want to do this." Naruto cried. His hands were curled up into fist and he glared at the ground, "No one will believe that it was your idea to do this and with my background, they'll think I dragged you with me. What if your parents don't let me see you anymore? I- I don't want that Sasuke. Please don't do that to me."

Silence settled between them and Naruto kept his vision focused on the ground. It was very interesting, and he found himself following the different lines in which the grass grew and how they bent where he had fallen earlier; oh look, an ant. A checkered shoe came into his line of view and he flinched when a pale hand gripped his chin, pulling it up so his eyes met ebony eyes. They were narrowed as they studied his face and Naruto darted his eyes away from the intense glare.

"Naruto, look at me." Azure eyes flickered back to Sasuke's face, before focusing over the Uchiha's shoulder, where the house stood silently in the night. "Naruto."

Hesitantly, the blond slid his eyes back to meet Sasuke's, and they widened when he felt soft lips on his own. He tried to pull back, but the raven's other hand was gripping his wrist, keeping him from moving further away. The hand that was holding his chin loosened its grip and Naruto took the chance to turn his head to the side.

He panted slightly and a pink tint dusted his cheeks, "Wh-what are you doing?" He stammered.

Sasuke smirked, "Do act so coy Naruto. "I've seen you glancing at me all these years. Don't think I never noticed."

The pink tint turned into a full blown blush but cerulean eyes flashed dangerously and his mouth twisted into a scowl, "So now what, you're going to hang that over me as blackmail so I join you in this stupid temptation of yours. Do you even care?"

The raven reached forward, threaded his fingers through Naruto's blond locks and pulled slightly so Naruto's head tipped back. Naruto squirmed in discomfort as the grip tightened and Sasuke glared down at him, "Don't ever say that again, don't even think that." He loosened his grip slightly but still kept his eyes locked with Naruto's. "I always cared for you, whether or not you're too dense to see it isn't my problem."

"Huh?"

Sasuke pinched the bridge of his nose, "Why else would I deal with your annoying self?" He ignored the outcry that came from Naruto at being called annoying and brought up his other hand. He brushed the pad of his thumb over the whiskered cheeks and felt the blonds' breath hitch slightly.

"Sa-Sasuke," Naruto started, and then hesitated, "You, you're serious?"

"Do I ever joke?"

"Well, earlier you kin-umph."

The raven quickly silenced the younger male by once again pressing his lips against the blonds', but this time Naruto didn't struggle. Instead, he pressed back slightly, almost shyly and Sasuke fought the urge to smirk at the blonds' inhibited action. Sasuke nipped lightly on the plump bottom lip, making Naruto gasp as he took the chance to slip his tongue into the other males' mouth. His tongue coaxed Naruto's to join his and hesitantly, the wet muscle moved with his and they danced around until the need for air made Naruto break away, gasping for breath.

Sasuke placed a quick kiss on Naruto's forehead, "Don't think that this has distracted me from my other temptation."

"Wha?" Naruto asked incoherently.

A chuckle escaped Sasuke's mouth and his eyes shifted to the house that seemed to be waiting patiently for him to satisfy his desire. He released his hold on the blond and took a step towards the house. Behind him, Naruto stayed silent and the raven took that as a sign to continue, and soon he was only a few steps away from the door; adrenaline rushing through his veins

One-step

Two step

Pause for a quick glance,

And three step.

Sasuke raised his foot and roughly kicked at the door, watching with satisfaction as it flew open. He stepped into the house and looked around the hallway, his heartbeat slowing down slightly. He frowned at the lack of adrenaline and spun around the foyer, trying to find something to spark the adrenaline again, but found none. Instead, his gaze fell on the blond standing outside still, his pulse started to speed up, and Sasuke's mind quickly made up its mind.

He stalked back out to the front yard and azure eyes glanced up to meet his. Perhaps his temptation wasn't to do this random 'B n E', but instead it was something else.

"Naruto lets go home."

"Yes." The blonde-haired male exclaimed happily, "Yes."

"Although…" Sasuke started and grabbed the tanned wrist, yanking it so Naruto fell back against his chest. "I'm starting to think that this temptation was geared towards something else."

Naruto glanced up and his eyes widened at the dark eyes that were smoldered with lust, and he let out a yelp as he felt lips press against his neck and a hand squeeze his butt. "Sasuke, I'm not doing that here."

The raven smirked against his neck, "Very well, we can do it elsewhere." He said and then proceeded to drag him into the large two-story house.

* * *

A few hours later, two figures emerged from the house; one with a smug, satisfied look on his face, while the other scowled at him and walked with a slight limp. They didn't say anything as they made their way down the driveway and it wasn't until the blond stopped to glance back at the house did the silence finally break.

"Sasuke, isn't this Neji's house?"

The raven smirked and grasped Naruto's wrist, "Come on, it's late." He tossed the blond his cell phone, "Call your parents and tell them you're staying with me tonight and for most of the day tomorrow."

"Why?" Naruto questioned.

A blush spread across Naruto's face as Sasuke sucked on his neck before moving up to his ear, where he whispered, "Because you won't be able to move tomorrow when I finish with you tonight." He pulled away and walked back to the truck, while a sputtering Naruto followed after him.

* * *

An hour later, a blue car pulled into the vacant driveway and a tall brunette stumbled from the car. Pale eyes stared at the place where the front door used to be and he took a cautious step towards the house, pausing only to yell at his cousin to stay still. He entered the house and carefully found the light switch and flicked it up. The house was silent with the exception of the clocks ticking in the living room and he took a cautious step into the kitchen where he turned the lights on.

"Neji?"

He turned around to find his cousin looking at him curiously from the driveway and he shook his head, "Someone kicked the door in." He stated and glanced around the foyer, "But I think they're gone."

"Di-did they take anything?" she questioned softly.

Neji made his way into the living room and looked around, trying to find anything missing, but found none. A quick check in the other rooms proved the same results. He walked back down the steps and shook his head, "Nothing seems to be gone. Whoever it was must have chickened out after they kicked the door down."

"That's good." Came the quiet answer, "Will you be alright tonight?"

"Yes, thank you for driving me home."

The female nodded and gave him a quick hug before making her way to her car. After waving, she vanished down the road and Neji shut the broken door, closing it as best as he could. It was late, his head hurt and all he wanted to do was crawl into bed. He finished his nightly routine and pulled back the covers on his bed, revealing silky black sheets and he frowned lightly.

"I could've sworn these were red."

He shrugged off the feeling and climbed into the bed, while a few streets down, Sasuke Uchiha smirked as he ran a hand through blond locks. The sleeping male murmured softly in his sleep and curled up against his chest and Sasuke wrapped his arm around the tan waist.

What Neji didn't know, wouldn't hurt him.

* * *

Well, I had a fun time writing this, although, I believe that I know now the entire B n E act by heart. Also, I love inclement weather, for it cancels school, which means I can write to my hearts content. ^_^

Review please?


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